Beware Self-Closing Hotel Room Doors

For one of the annual conventions of our buying group, I had to go to Toronto and stayed at the old Skyline Hotel. The place changes its name every few years but I still fondly remember it as The Skyline - home of 25 cent drafts in the Men’s Only pub and where the Pub & Whistle show was performed and filmed for TV.

Traditionally, the suppliers would try to take us out in the evenings to wine and dine us and, hopefully, get more of our business. I try to keep a low profile for these activities, as I want my wits about me during the day. It amazes me how many of the suppliers are hungover the next day and proudly proclaim the early hours they finally made it to bed as if this is a badge of honour.

One evening, I went out with a good supplier just for a couple of
drinks and some appetizers. I was back to my hotel room by 7:30 pm to do some reading. The temperature in the room was intolerably hot and I rang for maintenance to fix the thermostat. He wasn’t able to and they couldn’t offer to move me to another room as the joint was booked. So I stripped down. After maintenance guy left, of course.

By nine I was feeling rather peckish so I rang up room service to order a sandwich. I quickly remembered to put on shorts and a
T-shirt before receiving the food. As soon as it was delivered, I stripped down again. It was scrumptious and when I was finished I noticed a little note on the plate to put it outside my door and it would be picked up.

I thought it prudent to at least put on shorts to open the door
and as I’m leaning down to slide the plate around the corner, the
door closed behind me, giving me a little bump to my behind.

Oh crap! Now what? Okay, all the adjoining rooms are people in our group. I’ll just start knocking on some doors to ask to ring the front desk for a key to be delivered to save me from this predicament, and this way, I’ll only embarrass myself to one person. After several
door knockings, I realized that at only 9:30 pm, everyone was out on the town.

I had to face the inevitable. I took a deep breath, sucked in my gut and proceeded to march down the hall to the elevators. Now, keep in mind, that this was in February and everyone in the lobby was heavily clothed, while I had nothing on but a pair of shorts. As I popped out of the doors and started strutting across the huge lobby, I saw mothers shield their children. I heard gasps of shock from old ladies and could see appreciative eyes of younger ladies follow my near-naked form. I had to wait in line at the front desk for a few moments, much to my growing embarrassment. So, I nonchalantly started to whistle, all the while watching furtively for the cops or the boys from the rubber room inn to surround me.

I’ll never forget the face of the girl at the counter as she looked up and down my body, as she went from shock to embarrassment to mirth. I started off with “You’re not going to believe this, but…” As she coded another room key for me, she was having a hard time stifling a good laugh but she did manage a most benevolent smile as I uttered my gratitude and apologies for shaking up the clientele and
hiked back across the lobby to the sanctity of my room, providing more consternation and entertainment for the masses.