Empty Nest

EMPTY NEST

6:12 pm
Friday
September 2
2005
She’s gone
Leaving me an empty nester

As I flip the pages of our “Memories Books”, yearning for those simpler, carefree days of showing her how to catch raindrops on her tongue, teaching her snorkeling, skiing, canoeing, or reading to her at night, I ask myself what is more disturbing to me. That she’s gone and I already miss her terribly ? Or that this marks another chapter in my life, in that I am, once again, reminded that I am getting older ? As I type this outside on my patio, I see the hard maples start to turn their deep auburns. Am I now in the autumn stage of my life ? At 46, is this too early to be thinking, and feeling ( well, I certainly do some days, physically ! ) that I am in that stage already ?

It wasn’t two minutes after she pulled out of the driveway that the phone rang to bring me out of my growing despondency. One of her best friends wanting to see her “one last time”. I had to reminder her friend “that she isn’t dying or going to the moon. She’ll be back next weekend, ya know. And she does have a phone in her residence room for you to call her.” But she shares my loss. In a different way. Three more phonecalls that evening from more friends.

My daughter has touched a great number of people, of all ages, in her short time and they all quickly develop a great fondness for her. Through her incredible empathy for others, she has helped guide a few lost souls onto a proper path. And always happy ! Every morning she awakes smiling. Even through the teenage years. And this giddiness for life is infectious to those around her. Most of her friends are from broken marriages/relationships, as she is, and I know that my daughter helps alleviate their worries and concerns through her comedic stories and acting. And by just listening to them.

She is the only one of her group of friends that is leaving town to go to university. The rest of them are short courses to complete their grade 12 certificate so they will hang around town for another year, washing dishes or “Do you want fries with that ?” Not knowing what they want to do with their lives. They have my pity. Gratefully my daughter has a goal – to be an English high school teacher.

And she is excited about what lies ahead. But she is also scared. About leaving home and her family, friends and her security net. Not knowing anyone in the city she is moving to. Having to share an apartment with three other girls that are total strangers, with one coming from Germany. Finding her way around campus. Leaving boyfriend behind, who’s plan is to follow her the following year. We will see what time brings there. From personal experience “Distance makes the heart go wander” not “fonder”.

I recall my first day at university. As my daughter is doing, I went a week early to get myself properly orientated ( and capitalize on all the parties, but, of course, I lectured her to be careful of weird concoctions, like Purple Jesus, etc. ). I was one of the first to check into the residence. After unpacking and organizing my things ( in a shared room the size of a walk-in closet whereas my daughter shares an actual apartment with single bedrooms ) I then took a shower. As I was drying off looking out my second storey window on a field which led to a forest then the outline of the Sleeping Giant, a couple of girls walked by and happened to glance up at my naked form. They smiled and waved, which I gleefully returned. Ah, it was going to be a great few years of my life here.

I wish my daughter the same. Fun and frivolity tempered with some mind expansion. New friends, new experiences. And she, and her dirty laundry, are always welcome to visit dear ol’ Dad.